Candidate A: You just really need to stop. You squandered your mandate monstrously, and, frankly, your lack of remorse and any sense of self-awareness is frightening. Every time you contribute to prevailing political discourse, it feels as if something bright and small dies inside all of us. Just stop. Retire with all the spoils you bled out of the country. (Tragically for us,) you have your pointless sons to carry out your legacy of iniquity and misery anyway.
Candidate B: I'm certain you're the president this country needs. But, your chances are slim to none. I'll probably still vote for you though (a recent development).
Candidate C: The only redeeming thing about you is that you have an actual chance of winning this election. And, in the miserable race of serious contenders, you're easily the lesser evil. This country really shouldn't have to settle for that.
Candidate D: I really don't know anything about you.
Candidate E: Just... no.
Candidate F: We know you're a decent guy, and I believe that in a country with sound democratic institutions, you would do reasonably well as president. But, the moral vacuum that comprises Philippine politics will ruin you. (Get out while you still can!) And, you know what, your political motivations? Nebulous at best. Your ostensible loyalties? Disastrous. So, yeah.
Candidate G: You are incredibly shady, and that your political existence rests so closely to the presidency makes me want to weep and gnash my teeth. Out of all the candidates, you have the most to gain. Your tremendous political and economic capital (and the way you ruthlessly amassed both) ensure that you are in the best position to plunder and pillage what's left of this weary and heartsick country. And, that some people acquiesce to that, in exchange for the small scraps you're obligated to throw their way, speaks of a citizenry that's given up on itself.
Candidate H: Nope.
Candidate I: You've made some sound proposals, and you've had your share of successes. But, something about you feels too narrow, too limited.
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