;',./;'.,..

I'm feeling a little like roadkill. But, you know, optimistic roadkill.

I bought Alessandro Moreschi, The Last Castrato last week, thinking I needed a bit of cheering up (material acquisition always cheers me up, see). And it's really creepy. I blame Anne Rice. That book was really depressing. I don't think I even finished it. Too much sodomy and dismemberment. Mm, fragments and short sentences.

I don't think I want to go back to Manila. There's something about these last few weeks, that makes me dread the idea of going back. Which is ridiculous, because I miss it like hell sometimes, and Vancouver isn't exactly oozing with good vibes right now. I just don't want to go back. I want to stay here and be miserable. I want to see what Vancouver in the summer is like. I want to get a job and earn (not save, because, everyone knows my propensity to save is non-existent) enough money to do a Greece, part 2--assuming, of course, Greece, part 1 (EUROPE) pushes through (WHICH IT WILL, DAMMIT). I want to go white-water rafting with my friends, I want to go camping. I want to go bungee jumping. I want to ride buses. I want to go biking in Stanley Park, hang out with all the obnoxious art-school kids at the Island. I want to ride in a car at 3 in the morning, blithely speeding down highways and city roads and thumbing my nose at unknown circumstance. I want to stay here, where I can pretend I'm an only child, and my parents are either too cool for fucking school or dead. Does that make sense? That sounded mean. There are no strings here. No strings, no leashes. Just my purple-eyed pretensions and my lispy delusions.

Lithhpy.

Manila. Not now, please.

Is it wrong that whenever I go shopping now, I gravitate towards things that make me think: this will look totally hot in Europe, yo? It's appalling, I know.

Man. Can't wait till finals are over. I should really study more. I'm totally shitting all over my acads, it's gross. Emotional baggage, stupid boys, and generic sloth aside, I really owe my parents decent grades. No, I owe them phenomenal grades, but even I'm not that delusional. Dammit.