impotence

It's 3 AM. I can't sleep, I can't think. I need to cut my nails.

I went to UP today. Well, yesterday. And it was horrible. I don't know why. I just felt so lonely. And yet I couldn't think of one person who I could stomach to be with.

Hmm. I think I should just lie down. Or something. I want to think myself into oblivion. No alcohol. Gin is gross.

And I've got
Books I bought but don't want to read
Movies I bought but don't want to watch
Friends who tolerate and love me (in their own strange and unique ways, I'm sure) but I'm afraid to talk to them
Money to burn

Issues. I've got issues. But they're invisible. Or lost. Or misplaced.

I just kind of died for you, you just kind of stared at me.

Don't I know it, bub.