Listening to: Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
Currently: jabberwocking my way through life
So I've been trying to gear myself up to resuscitate what dying vestiges of ambition I have left. I hate this ambivalence, this numbing complacency.
A couple of days ago, I got into this conversation about crummy ex-boyfriends with a friend over cheap sushi. It was nothing profound. Just a couple of single girls sniping cattily at the impending gloom of Valentine's Day. Maybe I need to get laid.
O, my life is a mess. It is a great, fat heap of grayness and ill-defined ideals. I wish I could go back to UP. I just want to drive around the acad oval for a while. And then stop by the NIGS parking lot for an emo-smoke. And then stop by Oz for a strawberry shake. And then head over to Econ to once again search for my place in the midst of the bosom of productive society. My life is part of a Nash equilibrium. It is, it is; I have to keep telling myself this to keep from going crazy. My life right now is the best response to the universe. We are mutually best responses, and we each have no incentive to deviate from our respective present strategies. No siree, Bob.
So the song goes.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I will search for a dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment